March 17, 2017 – Newly installed Minister of State Secretary of Oil, Rex Tillerson, warned that North Korea could be invaded next week. Although he feels there “isn’t enough oil there for it to be of interest,” his constant need for War Profiteering compels him, nonetheless, to go ahead and invade North Korea anyway.
Although Mr. Tillerson is surely old enough to remember what a complete disaster the first Korean War was, he feels that US lives are worth the extra money in his pocket.
He said, “Listen, these guys volunteered to go to war, so we should just go ahead and send them to their deaths in this rugged, mountainous landscape…” Adding further that “You never know, there might be some oil we can take once we get bogged down.”
Citing President Trump’s endless appetite for chaos, he seemed to indicate that it would be worth a “few ten thousand of our brave men and women in uniform to go ahead and die” so that his employer, Exxon-Mobil, can continue to spew CO2 into the atmosphere.